What is Self Sabotage, and is it stopping your success?
By the end of this article, you’re going to know what Self Sabotage is, why we do it, and most importantly, how to stop it.
Self Sabotage is when we stop ourselves from succeeding at something we want to do. I work with entrepreneurs and coaches, and this is the core of the work we do.
There are two ways we Sabotage ourselves…Consciously and Unconsciously.
Conscious Self Sabotage:
When we know we should do something but we avoid it and procrastinate it. Maybe we spend time doing other things. We watch TV, go on social media, or a million other activities, all while knowing we are avoiding the thing we want to do.
We’re conscious and aware that we aren’t doing it.
The real killer:
Unconscious Self Sabotage:
This is where it doesn’t look like Sabotage at all! Actually, it usually looks like we’re doing good activities but they are a distraction from what we’re creating.
For example, spending time learning new skills, studying, listening to podcasts, planning and organizing, and even exercising or working out.
The thing with unconscious self-sabotage is it creates an illusion of being productive and focused when often it’s not going towards the actual goal that we want.
What are your flavors of conscious and unconscious Self Sabotage?
So the big question:
Why do we do it?
Here’s an example of an experience I had with a client. She felt like she kept hitting a glass ceiling in her business. She was stuck and couldn’t get past it.
She was obsessed with learning and development. She would learn new skills, read books, go to events, learn planning tools, strategies for her industry, and on and on, but she was stuck at this one level.
On our first call, we discovered the root of the issue.
When she was little, her parents judged wealthy people. They said they weren’t nice. They were slimy and all sorts of things. So as a kid she created a belief that if she became wealthy, she would be judged by family and friends.
She didn’t realize that she had this belief. It was an unconscious belief.
When she said it out loud, she kind of laughed. She couldn’t believe that she actually thought that.
This belief caused her subconscious mind to Sabotage her so that she wouldn’t become wealthy and be judged by her family. It used all kinds of strategies like planning, learning, distractions, having many ideas, and on and on as ways to trick her out of focusing on what would grow her business.
Can you relate to this in any way?
As you can see in this example, it’s not fully sabotage because part of us doesn’t actually want us to succeed!
How do we beat Self Sabotage?
There are many ways, like therapy and coaching, hypnosis, and many others. 2 easy ways to beat self sabotage on your own:
- Being around people at another level. This actually shows your subconscious what is possible and creates new beliefs without even knowing it. For example, if the client I spoke about before spent time around wealthy people that her friends and family liked, she would probably change her beliefs.
- Visualizations are a powerful way to develop a strong mindset and create new beliefs. When I really discovered the power of visualizations it changed my life.
With visualizations, we actually program our subconscious with whatever we focus on.
Our subconscious believes what we visualize to be true.
I know it sounds crazy but try this simple exercise. Just take a second and imagine cutting a lemon in half and taking a big juicy bite. Imagine you can feel the lemon in your hand, see the colours, smell, and taste the juice. If you take a second and actually do that you will probably respond almost like you had actually taken a bit of a lemon. Meanwhile, you don’t a lemon! Your body responds because your subconscious mind responds to the images you’re picturing.
I started using visualizations when my life was upside down. I was losing money in a business. I was building a house and ran out of money on that and my first daughter arrived.
I was overwhelmed and had anxiety every morning. One day I just sat down and started visualizing.
It instantly changed my emotion. I opened my eyes and went about my day.
I kept doing it, and slowly I became more productive, I had better ideas, I attracted new opportunities.
In 6 months I went from feeling like I had no way out to transforming my business and my life. My business because the most profitable it had ever been.
It was crazy how fast things changed.
I started using visualizations everywhere and teaching to others.
They are a powerful way to focus, overcome self-sabotage, and develop a strong mindset.
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